Pfishing Pfoibles

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This ain't a new story, but its a dandy.

Contributed by John Campbell

Ol' Chet's a purest when it comes to fishin'! If it ain't done with a fly and a winston rod its just "jiggin'". Chet also ain't no church goin' man, but his Misez was right faithful at it and she had a new preacher who she said was a "real" fisherman. He
had a creel and everthin'! AND when he says he wishes he had someone to go fishin' with.. Yep! She says Chet'll take him.

Now Chet ain't keen on takin' anyone to his favorite spot, but he relents to take the parson fishin'... out to a mediocre little stream so's the Misez'll cool some. He shoulda went to his secret place cause fudgin' on men who pound the good book gets ya worse than nowhere.

Anyway, Chet takes the parson early one mornin' up on "rat river" (that's what Chet calls it) in the most remote part he could get to. Its a fer piece out and the parson's a chatter box type. Chet's hopin'that the trip discuragge th' parson from askin' fer another'n too. Along the way preacher says how foul langwage causes him to get chills up his spine 'n Chet takes a note to be careful, tho its gonna be hard fer Chet, cause he's "colorful"; ya know?

So they sets up for a day's fly drownin', Chet figures. Along about here things get a bit confused, so I'll just tell it all th'
best I can interp-prut'it. Seems that Chet was lettin' a big 'ol moth of some sort (which had always been junk) glide down the
far side in swift water. He says he thought if it got hung he could just cut 'n not be out any.

He'd made 'bout 3 or 4 passes with it and on the next swish he let it coast a little farther past a big upshot rock, into some slack. There was a swirl come from under the back'o that rock and a big, I mean BIG! brownie sucks that bogus bug in like its got chicken grease on it! Ol' Chet's heart starts apoundin' 'n he hauls the hook. His best winston bends a horse shoe'n th'reel sings
like the "fat lady"! Chet give some line and starts down the stream in his hip boots tryin' to keep things a'justed so's not to lose this'un!

The water made a sharp bend just below and soon as Chet turns corner he runs into a couple beer guzzler'n - spinfish'n chumps
'n one of 'em's tangled in Chet's right'o'way, right off. Chet is tryin' to keep the line just so. You know how that is. He's tryin' to get loose of that #@*%&~! zebco slinger. And that brownie show's no sign of ever givin' up!

Suddenly Chet's feet hit slick bottom and he goes felt-soles over tincups 'n Wham! When he gets right again, the lines broke, Brownie's gone, his boots'r full, his hat with his best "show-off" flys is chasin' the brownie downstream, the spin fisher's plug is
sunk into his new vest, his creel has filled with water and near chokin' him t'death, and his best winston rod is in two separate 'n distinct pieces!

Chet drags back around th' bend with the remains of his stuff 'n there on the bank lays the preacher! Chet cain't get no pulse, he drags th' parson to the truck 'n off to town they go just bustin'.

Well...... the doc says they just had too fer't come'n the preacher's widow'll have t'be told somehow. Doc also said it was the strangest thing he'd ever see'd; it bein' late July'n all.... The Preacher had somehow FROZE to death!?

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